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I can reply to my own question now for anyone asking the same in future. I bought an ebay special that claims to replace the VES remote and it works! Described as Remote Control For Chrysler Grand Voage 300C Video DVD Headphones VES System, we're up and working again!

Was a 2.5CRD 2003 with about all the toys. Had her 7 years with only service items. Reconned she had been a Birmingham posh taxi, while having 170k miles on her she probably had more. Clutch was a stirring the soup to find low gears over those 7 years. She was to sit aside again for MOT repairs so decided to scrap her. Got a bit welding to sill done 2018. Brake pipes needing replaced. Clutch was a problem. Steering gear leaking. Engine was perfect, didn't need topping up, maybe due to the Redex it got on every fill, (Tesco £2). Always passed the smoke test too. She was a good old girl, would buy another if one came up not far away. Half the price of Volvo XC70's I was looking at. I'm not soo good at mo so might not see another. Selling her was a problem, had her down for spares and repairs in local facebook, £300 was far to much for most, so scrapy got it for £100 uplifted.